A Dozen Life Lessons Outdoor Adventure Has Taught Me
By Gina Hurley
(Dick’s Pass-Tahoe Rim Trail)
Introduction
Outdoor adventure! Who would have thought that outdoor adventure could teach me a dozen important life lessons? Not me. But as I reflect on each of these lessons they are not just important in the great outdoors, but in any and all aspects of life: marriage, parenting, employment, friendship, any of it. These lessons have a place in all of the things that we do. What is outdoor adventure, and where does it fit in to your life? Outdoor adventure encompasses many activities, and although you may not consider yourself an outdoor adventurist, you likely participate in some outdoor adventure at some point in your life. Some examples of outdoor adventure are biking, kayaking, hiking, backpacking, camping, and skiing, but there are so many others. For me, the lessons I learned came from my experiences hiking, backpacking, camping, skiing and snowshoeing, and traveling around the United States and Canada seeing and experiencing the great outdoors.
(Yosemite)
My love for the great outdoors started with my zest for adventure and travel, and this started at an early age. As a child I loved to go to new places and see new sights. My grandmother (my Nonna) started calling me the “gypsy” in my family because of all of the traveling and adventure I was seeking. In high school I spent a summer as an exchange student in France…most of it on the Riviera. I loved that experience. In college I spent the summer before my senior year on Cape Cod with my college friends working and playing in the sun. We were eight girls living in a very small apartment walking distance to the beach. We had great fun! These experiences increased my desire to travel more, and to see the world. After meeting my future husband while spending the summer on Cape Cod, and getting married, we began our life together seeking new adventures. Although neither of us grew up doing a lot of traveling in the great outdoors, we discovered this love together. Camping led to hiking and hiking led to backpacking. Living in the northeast, skiing and snowshoeing were the next logical adventures. Even when pursuing my doctoral degree I spent three summers in another state pursuing not just my educational endeavors, but another experience and adventure. My husband Mark stayed back in Massachusetts. I did not know anyone, but enjoyed the experience not just of learning and sharpening by skills as a school psychologist, but exploring what another part of the country had to offer. Once I received my degree I thought I hit the jackpot when I discovered that I could travel to different parts of the country for business, then hike, backpack, or ski while I was there. My first trip was to a convention in Las Vegas. We combined this trip with backpacking to the base of the Grand Canyon. I found the perfect combination of work and pleasure! This was all good fun, and for the last 20 years, I have been having a blast, never realizing how all of this fun was teaching me such important life lessons along the way. I often think about how these outdoor adventures have helped me in my job, relationships, and personal growth. In fact, having these thoughts for the past several years is what inspired me to write this book. These are the lessons outdoor adventure has taught me over the past 20 years. I hope you enjoy reading about them and apply them to your life situations.
(My Nonna)
Lesson #1: Set a Goal and Develop a Plan
My boss often says “Prior planning prevents poor performance”, and she is right. Once you have established a goal, a well developed plan is essential for success. Whether you are starting a new project at work, expecting a baby, or planning your parents’ 50th wedding anniversary party, setting a goal and having a plan will make the event not just run smoother, but likely help you avoid any problems or obstacles that you are not prepared for. We all know that there will be obstacles, even with a well developed plan, but the key is preparing enough to be able to overcome those obstacles when they arrive, and have fun in the end.
For all of the trips and adventures I do with my husband in the great outdoors, it is clear that we each have a role in the planning. We develop the goal together (i.e. climb this mountain, ski this trail, hike this canyon), but take on equally important roles in the planning. Mark, my husband, likes to read about the area we are traveling to, and see what other people are posting online about their experiences. He does a lot of research on-line, shares that information with me, and then we discuss what we need. Since I am more of the detail person, I then make sure we have what we need, whether I have to make it, pack it, or buy it. Don’t get me wrong, we collaborate on the final plan, but for us we have learned that we each have specific roles and responsibilities if we want to reach the goal. This collaboration has worked very well for us over the years, and I often use the same method of collaboration at work. Collaboration in any setting, work, home, play, will help in achieving your goal. Remember that old saying…”Many hands make light work.” It easily applies here.
Some of our plans take a year in the making. The summer we drove to Alaska from the east coast and traveled that great state for six weeks we started planning a year before we left. For us, the adventure started at the planning stage. We read books, magazines, websites, talked to anyone we could find about the trip, and mapped out some key places we wanted to make sure we got to while there. We had maps and campground guides for all of the states we traveled through. We set up a specific email account and group so that we could communicate with family and friends when we stopped in local libraries. We even found a kennel in the Yukon where we determined we would stop on the way home to get a new puppy. We thought we had a great plan, but as you read more of the lessons, you will see that you cannot plan for everything.
One of the benefits of planning is to have greater confidence in the adventure you are seeking, and to successfully achieve whatever your goal is. While researching and planning our trip to Alaska, we knew we would be hiking and backpacking in an area where there are grizzly bears. I read many books and lots of information about hiking in grizzly country. Although this raised a lot of concern, it provided me with the information I needed to be prepared. Had I not done this research I might not have bought a bear canister for my food, or wore bells on my boots while I hiked, or bought bear spray, or wore a whistle on my back. Being prepared allowed me to feel more confident hiking in bear country.
Other in-depth planning included some of our long distance backpacking trips, such as the Long Trail in Vermont and the Tahoe Rim Trail. In long distance backpacking, or thru-hiking, the goal is to stay out on the trail for weeks or months at a time, with a few trips into town to resupply and shower. Each of these long distance trips required us to plan not just how we were going to get to and from the trailheads, but where we were going to resupply our food, where would we get off the trail for mail drops, showers and laundry, what we would do if injured or needed help, and how we would communicate with our families. All of this took research and time to plan, but well worth the effort. We often spend months reading books, information on-line, and reviewing maps to make sure we have the correct information to base our plans on.
Planning is an important step whether you are seeking an outdoor adventure, trying to complete a task at work, or trying to achieve a personal goal. Planning is the first step in increasing the success rate of reaching your goal, which may be your lifelong dream! Take the time to plan. Not only will it increase your chance of success, but it will add to the fun and excitement of the adventure.
(Mt. Isolation with Mt. Washington in the background)
Lesson #2: Know the Lay of the Land
Knowing the lay of the land, both literally and figuratively, is a necessity for successfully accomplishing your goal. Obviously, for outdoor adventure, the literal lay of the land is an absolute must. But even if we take this phrase figuratively, we need to understand the complexities of the environment, or the situation, we are entering. Whether it is a new job and office, a different part of the country that you are moving to, or going back to college after 20 years, knowing the lay of the land and the culture of the environment is critical for success.
I have two outdoor adventure stories that exemplify this lesson. The first was in my early days of skiing. We were in eastern Canada skiing, and I was still tentative about going down very steep slopes. When my husband and I got off the chair lift we proceeded to ski down a trail without looking at the map, and without knowing the lay of the land, specifically the degree of difficulty of this trail. However, as soon as I crested the top, I knew it was beyond my skill level. I immediately stopped. My husband saw my concern, and stopped next to me. He was a much better skier than I back then, so he wanted to continue down. Fine with me, but there was no way I was going down with him. Off he went, and up I climbed back to the lift, and found a different trail, a degree easier, to ski down with my own feeling of success. Although this worked out fine, had I known the lay of the land, I could have easily avoided this mistake…..and an embarrassing walk up part of the mountain to get back to the lift and the easier trail (believe me, it did not go unnoticed by other skiers).
Another example of the importance of knowing the lay of the land is a hiking one. We have a great, active dog named Yukon. He is a mix between a husky and a shepherd, and we think there is also some wolf in him. He has the greatest howl! Yukon has been on many of our outdoor adventures. In fact, we got Yukon on our trip to Alaska; actually on the drive back east to Cape Cod. We went to a shelter in Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada and found him. He was four months old. His first two weeks with us included sightseeing and camping in National Parks in Canada (Japser and Banff) and the U.S. (Yellowstone and the Badlands). Since then he has participated in most of our outdoor adventures, with the exception of skiing. He has been a great hiking dog. One summer we were hiking up the Caps Ridge trail in New Hampshire. We had read the trail description in our guide book, knew part of it was above tree line, and thus had lots of rock to maneuver. We felt we were prepared, and had a plan (lesson #1). About half way up the trail the rocks turned to boulders and granite slabs, and the level of difficulty increased. Yukon was doing well climbing over them. However, one big rock slab stopped him dead in his tracks. Although we had a goal and developed a plan, Yukon could not make it up this section of the trail. Unfortunately we had to turn back. The lay of the land was more that we (he) could handle, and thus our goal of summiting Mt. Jefferson that day was not achieved.
The point of both of these stories is that knowing the lay of the land is crucial in achieving the goal you set for yourself. Whether it is a new job, a new place to live, the return to college, or any other life event, knowing the lay of the land will help you be successful in achieving your goal.
(Homewood Ski Resort-Lake Tahoe)
Lesson #3: Know When to Say When
There are many times in life that we need to stop going down the path we are on, and make a change. But for some reason that is often very hard to do. Change is one of the most difficult things to do in life. Often times we are committed to a goal, and stopping, even when we know it is going south, is hard, and sometimes impossible. However, a sinking ship is going to sink, no matter how much you try to bail the water out. Knowing when to say when and to pull the plug is the challenge, whether it is a project that you are working on at work, the plumbing project you are trying to fix in your bathroom, or the relationship you are trying to salvage. Knowing when to stop and change course is a very difficult human behavior because you have to either change or delay your goal, and often we do not want to do that. However, if we do not stop or change our course, we often get into more difficulty and have greater problems down the line.
I have three memories that make this point. The first is the summer we started our thru-hike of the Long Trail, which is a 273 mile trail that spans the entire state of Vermont, from the southern border with Massachusetts to the Canadian border. The summer of 2007 was a very rainy and wet summer, so the trail was very slippery and muddy. If you have hiked in Vermont, you know that the trails are covered with rocks and tree roots, making the trail very difficult when wet. We had been going along making good progress, but it was not uncommon for us to slip and fall. Falling was a daily occurrence. About half way into the trip (135 miles) my husband and I were battered. We had lots of blisters on our feet, and my husband’s leg was giving him some difficulty. He had an accident years earlier, putting a chain saw into his right thigh, and requiring surgery. His quadriceps muscle was cut, and now he does not have the range of motion as he did before. Given our physical condition we started wondering if staying the course was the best plan. Staying on the trail would mean about another 12-15 days of backpacking. We talked about getting off trail one evening, and decided to wait till the morning to make the call. We were close to a town and road crossing, so if we were going to end the trip, the next day would be the time. The next morning we woke up in the shelter, side by side, and decided it was time to pull the plug and get off the trail. I remember silently crying, as I was so disappointed, but as you will see later in the book, we were not done with the Long Trail.
Another example of Knowing When to Say When is when we were spending the summer traveling through Alaska. We decided to hike up to the Harding Ice Field in the Kenai Fjords, near Seward. Given that it was summer we expected some snow, but not the amount we encountered. Although we trekked on for a bit, the snow became too difficult to hike in, and we did not have snowshoes or crampons with us. Some may say we were not prepared and did not plan well. However, when driving to Alaska from Cape Cod for a camping, hiking, and backpacking adventure, there is only so much stuff you can bring. The snowshoes and crampons did not make the cut! Unfortunately we had to decide to pull the plug and accept that we would not get up to the ice field. Bummer….right? Well, on the way down we saw two bear about 50 yards from the trail, in plain view. What an amazing sight. Although getting to the ice field would have been spectacular, seeing these two bear was awesome. It certainly added a new and different experience to that hike!
The last memory of Knowing When to Say When is one that involved our second attempt to summit Mt. Jefferson via the Caps Ridge trail. As you read in lesson #2, Knowing the Lay of the Land, we had to turn back on the first attempt because Yukon our dog could not maneuver a rock slab, even with help. We decided on one weekend to leave Yukon home, and make the attempt without him. We knew there was a slight chance of rain later in the day, but we had an early start and felt confident that we could summit and be close to the car by the time it started to rain. We were doing well going up the trail, rocks, boulders, and all. However, about a mile from the summit the sky opened up and the rain began to fall. Given that the rest of the trail to the summit was exposed (no tree cover) with all rocks and slap, and very slippery when wet, we wondered if moving forward and continuing the climb was the smartest and safest move. Although our goal was to summit Mt. Jefferson, we also had a goal of being safe and not getting hurt. Knowing When to Say When is critical for many reasons, and safety is one of them. Even though we had already been turned around once by this trail, it looked like the trail won again on the second attempt. Due to safety concerns we pulled the plug and descended the trail safely. Although we were extremely frustrated, we were safe, and the mountain wasn’t going anywhere…..as you will read in another lesson later in the book.
(Our boots at the end of the 275 mile Long Trail)
Lesson #4: Plan B…Being Flexible
As lesson #3 stressed, there are many times that things do not always go your way, no matter how well you plan and no matter how patient you are, and even if you know the lay of the land. Things happen; but after you pull the plug, there is an opportunity for Plan B. I am sure you have heard the saying “When one door closes another one opens up.” The important lesson here is that just because something does not go as planned, you can still modify the plan and achieve the goal. Whether this happens at work, at home, or in any of your relationships, Plan B can be a viable option.
I have many examples of needing to go to Plan B, and of needing to be flexible. The most significant and rewarding one happened while we were thru hiking the Tahoe Rim Trail. This is a beautiful, 165 mile trail that circles Lake Tahoe via the many mountain ranges of Nevada and California. It offers breathtaking views. Mark, Yukon, and I began the trail in the summer of 2009. As part of my planning, I had prepared for worse case scenarios that Mark or I might find ourselves in. I had plans as to how to get off the trail and into town if needed. If equipment failed, or we got hurt, I had a Plan B. However, never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be Yukon, my hardy, strong Alaskan husky that needed to get off the trail. Yes, Yukon sustained a leg injury, and could not walk anymore. He simply laid down on the trail, as if saying “enough”. Luckily we were near a road crossing, and managed to get to it, and, due to good planning, had a phone number of a taxi to come get us…all three of us. Although Yukon rested for a few days, he still was unable to return to the thru-hike, so we had to come up with Plan B. Since we had several weeks left before having to get home, and had driven out to Tahoe, we decided to drive to San Francisco and up the coast to Portland, and then headed east towards home. We spent time in the Pacific North West enjoying several National Parks and National Monuments, including the Redwoods, Mt. St. Helens, Mt. Hood, Mt. Rainer, and Glacier National Park. We hiked and camped in all of these areas, and had an amazing time. Plan B still accomplished our goal of a summer adventure, and allowed Yukon the time he needed to heal. Thank goodness for flexibility. We saw amazing vistas and traveled to parts of the country that we never had seen. Although the Tahoe Rim Trail thru-hike was not a success, the summer adventure was.
Another quick example of Plan B is when we were camping in Denali National Park in Alaska. Due to the crowds in Denali you have to make your camping reservations months in advance. We made ours in January for July. We were so excited when we arrived at the campground and set up our tent. We were achieving one of our dreams…camping in Denali National Park! About an hour after we set up a ranger came by and said that there was high wolf activity, and that nothing could be outside of a hard top vehicle, meaning that we could not camp, nor store anything outside of the vehicle. Now we were on a cross country trip for the summer, so we had lots of gear and camping equipment, plus lots of nonperishable food. All of this took up the entire SUV, with the exception of the two front seats. When we pleaded with the ranger he responded very clearly and simply, either find a solution or leave the campground. So we went to plan B….sleep in the car, no matter how uncomfortable, and maintain the goal of camping in Denali. We slept in the front seats of the SUV for three nights, but got to hike the back country of Denali each day. This was simply wonderful. Remember, if your plan A is not working, or you get thrown a curve ball, don’t throw in the towel, be flexible and come up with Plan B. It could just be the better plan!
(Waiting for a taxi after aborting the Tahoe Rim Trail due to Yukon’s injury)
Lesson #5: Silence….Nature Speaking
I am not sure about you, but with the fast pace of communication I am often compelled to respond immediately to emails, phone calls, text messages, or any question no matter the form it is presented. This is true for me at work and in my personal life. Most often it is best to take some time, let silence take over, and ponder your answer or your next step. Sometimes this is easier said than done, but over the years I have learned to appreciate the silence. I am blessed to be married to one of the quietest individuals I know. He is a man of few words, but when he does speak, it is important. It did take me some time to appreciate his silence, and when we are out in the wilderness hiking, skiing, snowshoeing, any of it, Mark says even less. He is taking it all in. He has taught me how wonderful silence can be.
The silence has allowed us to hear nature speaking. Whether it is the birds chirping, wind blowing, the river running, waterfalls flowing, snow crunching, or the ice shifting, all of it is nature speaking to us. Silence truly is golden. It is not simply listening to nature, it is what the silence allows you to see when there are no other distractions. Rainbows, sunbeams, unique leaf formations, snowflakes hitting a rock, or water flowing under a snow bridge are just a few of the most amazing sights you see when there is silence. I have many memories of the sights we have seen and watched in utter silence. An example is while backpacking in Yosemite. We camped at Cathedral Lake, a picturesque spot with a spectacular view of the mountains, and a jagged granite pinnacle named Cathedral Peak. It was a clear day and we just knew the sunset would be amazing. After dinner we sat at the edge of the lake and waited for what seemed like hours, in silence, for the sunset. It was like watching a silent movie. The view was worth the wait. It was a stunning sight, and even more gratifying in silence.
Wild flowers and wild life have also provided us with amazing sights. The wild flowers on Mt. Rainier, Mt. Hood, and the Tahoe Rim Trail were spectacular forms of beauty that we looked at for long periods of time, as if we were trying to contemplate or understand the spectacularness of it all. In all of these places I took many, many pictures of the wild flowers because they are simply unbelievable. Silence has also given us many opportunities to view wild life. Bear, moose, marmot, deer, caribou, snowshoe hare, mountain goats, Dall sheep, and many other animals graced our presence on the trail while we gazed in amazement, and in silence. Without the silence we would not have seen all of these great animals. The noise would have sent them retreating further into the wilderness. These animals allowed us into their living room, and the quietness gave us a chance to appreciate them for a longer period of time. All of this because of silence. Silence also allows you to ponder and think about the world around you. Whether you are pondering your family, job, other personal relationships, or spiritual thought, the silence gives you an opportunity to really think about who you are and how you fit into this great big world of ours.
When I tell people about our degree of silence in the outdoors, some people look puzzled, and ask if it is boring. My response it usually the same….silence is a blessing and a gift. So when you are feeling pressured to respond due to the fast pace of our world take some time to listen to the silence, see the land around you, and ponder your place in the world.
(Beautiful nature…goat and wild flowers in Glacier National Park)
Lesson #6: Push Your Limits and Conquer Your Fears
There are many times in our personal relationships or at our jobs that we settle because we have fears that, even if we do not admit to them, prohibit us from taking risks or taking on a challenging task. Fear can be paralyzing. What are we afraid of? Often it is failure or the inability to be successful at what we are attempting. When did failure become such a negative event? Why are we so afraid to fail? Think about the times you have failed in your life. Aren’t those the times that you have learned the most? Pushing our limits and taking risks can open up doors and allow us to grow in our relationships and profession, and life in general.
One of my biggest fears is getting eaten by a bear. Now you may think this is a crazy, unrealistic fear. However, hiking in bear country is a reality for me, so the chance of encountering a bear is possible….and an encounter could likely lead to an attack. Prior to spending the summer in Alaska I did a lot of research on bears, and hiking in bear country. I probably read most of the literature out there at the time on hiking in bear country. I followed all of the tips and advice given. I bought bells for my hiking boots, a whistle for my back, bear spray for my hip belt, a fog horn for my shoulder strap, and a bear canister to store my food in. I knew the difference between brown and black bear, and how to react if I encountered one or the other. I knew how to store my food, and where to cook in relation to my tent. I was set. Yet, having all of these things, and knowing what to do if I ran into a bear, I still had some fear. While backpacking in the mountains outside of Fairbanks I had convinced myself that the noise I heard at 10 p.m. was indeed that of a bear. Now, we were fortunate to be staying in a closed, four sided structure about 8 by 10 feet. However, I was convinced that the noise outside was a bear, and that he would somehow get into the structure and attack us. I was paralyzed with fear. I had the bear spray close at hand. My husband got up to look out the window. Remember that it is still light out in Alaska at 10:00 at night in the summer. Mark went to the door and opened it. I thought I was going to die right then and there. However, when the door swung open and my husband said hello, there was a fellow hiker. In he came for a short break. After catching my breath and letting my body go back to its resting state I vowed never to have that much fear again. I conquered the fear of bears…or at least tamed the fear to some degree.
I know that I pushed my limits while on that trip to Alaska and am now more comfortable in bear country. A few years after our trip to Alaska I was in bear country in California. We were tenting in a campground and it was the middle of the night. Sounds of grunting and growling woke me. I looked out of our tent to see a bear trying to break into our car. I was nowhere near the level of fear I had when in Alaska. Although still appropriately concerned, I calmly woke my husband, and that noise in and of itself scared the bear off. Instead of staying up all night wondering if the bear would come back, I was able to go back to sleep. I had pushed my limits and conquered my fear. By doing so I had a much more enjoyable trip!
During my early years of skiing I was not a big fan of ski lifts. It wasn’t so much the getting on and off, but the height that used to bother me. However, if you want to go up the mountain the lift is the only way to get there. Several years ago we were spending a week in British Columbia skiing. On the first day of skiing we got on the lift. About a third of the way up it stopped….stuck, and not moving. Suspended in the air, rocking back and forth, could be a bit nerve racking. At first I was concerned and a bit anxious, but as the time wore on I found myself looking out over the snowcapped mountains and trails. Being up high, I had amazing views, and was able to appreciate the beauty from that perspective. Although I had been on chair lifts before, the prolonged view allowed me to take the beauty in slowly and deeply. In addition it took my mind off being stuck high above the ground. Forty-five minutes later we were moving again. However, the time provided me the opportunity to see things in a very different and more beautiful way.
Fear can be debilitating. It can prevent us for accomplishing so many of the things that are important to us. Pushing our limits and conquering our fears can be a release, both in our personal and professional lives. When I am faced with challenges at work that may be beyond my limits, I think about the situation with the bear. The bear did not win. The bear did not prevent me from accomplishing my goal and did not stop me from my adventure, or future adventures. I think, too, about the chair lift ride. Getting stuck was a gift in disguise. I saw beauty I had been missing, even though it was right before me. I have learned that we can push through our fears and become stronger. Even if we fail, we learn, and can apply that knowledge to the next attempt so we get closer and closer to success. Embrace the risk. It is well worth it.
(Pushing the limits…skiing Mt. Hood)
Lesson #7: Laugh Often….Especially at Yourself
Some say laughter is the best medicine. It can help ease a difficult situation, make someone feel more comfortable, and help you work past some of your fears. Although in our society we sometimes see people laughing at other people, that is not the laughter I am speaking of. What I am talking about is being able to laugh at yourself, at your own mistakes, missteps, and flaws, as none of us are perfect. When I first started these outdoor adventures I was a little nervous, so laughter was often the furthest thing from my mind. Over time I have grown to appreciate humor, and often laugh at myself. The story in lesson #6 about the bear in Alaska is one that Mark and I often recount, and laugh at. We have found a lot of humor in our adventures. During our earlier adventures it seemed that no matter what activity we were doing I would often end up falling. No matter the sport, skiing, hiking, snowshoeing, I was often on the ground at some point during the day. I would often get mad or frustrated with myself, but I have found that if I let it roll of my back, I usually find the situation rather comical and have a better time. In my early days of skiing I took a few lessons. Mark was already an experienced skier, so he would go off in the morning skiing and I would take a lesson. One year I signed up for a week long group class. Since I had been skiing for a few years I identified myself as an intermediate skier. However, after the first day, and many falls, the instructor demoted me to the beginner class. At first I was angry, but thinking about it, it was actually quite funny, and Mark and I still laugh about it to this day. It is not often you get demoted while participating in a leisure activity! It is not always easy to laugh at yourself when you are demoted, or fail, but in retrospect I learned to ski better being in the beginner group then in the intermediate group, and the demotion actually helped me as a skier years later.
A more recent situation occurred a couple of years ago while we were snowshoeing. We were on a trail that is often used, so the snow was well packed and easy to maneuver. Towards the end of the hike I had to go to the bathroom. Peeing in the woods is not unusual given the activities we do. I had Mark keep watch and I went to the side of the trail. The snow there was not packed down, and so when I was getting myself in position I fell over on my face into the unpacked, deep snow….with my pants around my ankles. I tried to get up, but couldn’t because my snowshoes were slipping, and my hands were plunging deeper into the snow. Since Mark was keeping watch around the corner he did not see me, and I had to call him to come pull me up. I had snow everywhere, inside and outside of my clothes. I must have been a sight, because all he could say, through his own laughter, was “What happened?” After I got up I had to join him in the laughter, because it was really very funny….and a bit cold!
To laugh at yourself is courageous. It allows you to put things in perspective, and often have more fun. Of course not every situation is a laughing matter. But to get uptight or frustrated over some of the simple things, instead of letting them roll off your back, can cause more stress and tension in your life, and even negatively impact your health. So laugh often at the harmless mistakes you make. Whether at work, at home, or in the outdoors, laughter really is the best medicine!
(Nature calls….Mark using the facilities while backpacking the Long Trail)
Lesson #8: Be Kind to Strangers and Help Others
This lesson sounds so simple. Being kind and helping others is a mission we should all have. Imagine if we did how different the world would be. Perhaps it is the fast pace world we live in that we do not have the patience or time to focus on someone else. Whether at home, at the mall, at work, or the coffee shop, being kind to a stranger or helping another is something that although many of us would like to think we do, we may not. Think about the last time you did so, and how long ago it was. Mark and I have been very blessed as we have received kindness and help from strangers during many of our outdoor adventures.
A great example of this is when we were hiking in New Hampshire many years ago. We had reached a summit after a very long, steep, hot and humid 11 mile hike. We needed to go another few miles to the shelter to spend the night. It was already late in the afternoon. Mark’s legs became cramping so significantly that he could not stand, let alone walk. He was on the ground visibly in pain. We were both concerned, not just for his health, but knowing that we could not stay on the summit for the night. We had to somehow move Mark down the trail a bit to get into a protected area for the night. Another hiker saw Mark struggling and came over to ask if we needed help. After telling him what was happening he reached into his pack and pulled out some salt, and gave it to Mark to eat. Mark needed to replenish the sodium in his body, as he depleted it by sweating so much on the hike. Although the salt did not immediately stop the cramping, within the hour the cramps eased and we were able to get to the shelter and avoid a dangerous night on the summit. Although the next day we had to go to Plan B because Mark was not able to hike the distance we planned, we were so grateful to the hiker that came to our aide.
The kindness of a skier while in British Columbia is another example of a stranger helping us. Skiing in the east does not prepare you for skiing out west in powder. Powder in New England means an inch or two of snow. But out west, a powder day can be measured in feet! We were fortunate enough to be skiing in about a foot of fresh powder. I was ahead of Mark. He had fallen and both skies came off. He found one, but could not find the other. It was buried in the fresh powder. He had just bought these skies, so losing them was not an option! It was not visible so he had to search for it. Mark spent about 45 minutes plunging his ski pole into the powder trying to find the other ski. Just as he was about to give up a woman skied up next to him and asked if he needed help. He said yes, and after a few plunges of her ski pole she found the ski. Unbelievable!
I would say the most significant kindness of strangers came during our thru hikes. When you are on a thru hike there is nothing more meaningful than the help of strangers to support you in achieving your dream. Think about that…a stranger helping you reach your goal. What a concept! We received rides, food, drinks. These good deeds are referred to as “trail magic” and are truly amazing gestures of kindness by strangers. We try to repay the kindness with other thru-hikers. While out west we have supported Pacific Crest Trail thru-hikers with food and drink, and when in New Hampshire we do the same for Appalachian Trail thru-hikers.
Being kind and helping others is honorable and noble. It simply makes you a better person. We strive for that. We believe that generosity is benevolent, and our outdoor adventure continues to drive this message home for us. So the next time you are in the grocery store, or the post office, or walking down the street, or wherever you see someone in need, offer them a helping hand. I bet it will be the best part of your day.
(Kindness and support along the Long Trail)
Lesson #9: Know What You Need……and What You Don’t
Knowing what you need physically, emotionally and materialistically can be a journey, and can change over time. We live in a world that has a lot of stuff, and knowing what you really need versus what you want, can sometimes be challenging. Let’s start with the materialistic things. Our society is filled with stuff, and often times when sitting in our homes, offices, or cars we think we need these things. The great gift of outdoor adventure is that it helps you decide what you really need….especially if you are carrying it on your back, or need it for survival. The more time I spend in the outdoors, the less materialistic things I determine I need. I do not think I am a minimalist, but I am less excited about things such as various tech and audio-visual toys, games, things for the house, and cars, just to name a few. Being in the outdoors has given me the perspective of the things that I really need, the things that will keep me safe, warm, and fed. If you ever took a General Psychology course, you might remember that these things are part of Maslow’s hierarchy of need, and unless these lower level needs are met, people cannot reach their full potential, and self-actualize. Mark and I have learned to appreciate the minimalistic concept of doing more with less. And we truly do, whether we are in the outdoors, or in our own home. We make do with what we have. I have learned to bring that same perspective to work. This perspective allows me to keep the clutter of materialistic things at bay, and focus on what is really important.
Over time our outdoor adventures has taught me to know what I need physically. I hated exercise for the longest time. I was not intrinsically rewarded by it. I often exercised because I wanted to be a certain size or fit into a specific outfit. Since we started all of these adventures I have learned that I am more successful at them when I am physically fit….not thin, or a certain size, but physically fit. In fact, I am in better shape now in my late forties that I was in my late twenties. I cannot discuss being physically fit without mentioning eating right. I am not the best eater, and certainly admit to pizza and beer on some weekends. However, I try to eat right so that I have the energy and stamina to do the activities that we enjoy. Vegetables and protein seem to work best for me, and coupled with daily exercise has provided me with what I need to be physically prepared for our adventures. Whether I am walking the dog (with a weighted pack), taking a boxing class, or doing an aerobics DVD, I am now intrinsically motivated because I know this is what I need to enjoy the adventures I seek.
Knowing what we need emotionally is probably the hardest aspect of the three in this lesson. I continue to refine this with the more outdoor adventure I do. My emotional needs are a part of me, whether I am climbing a mountain, or working on a project at the office. I have found that I need love (Lesson #10), and laughter (Lesson #7), and I need to be challenged. I need the excitement of something new, even if it is the unknown, and difficult, or something I fear (Lesson#6). Risk is something that I have come to appreciate, and actually enjoy to a certain degree…not just when playing in the outdoors, but even at work. I have learned and have come to appreciate knowing when to say when (Lesson #3) and when to go to Plan B (Lesson #4). I have a job that lends itself to new projects and programs to implement. The challenge, excitement, and risk are what I need emotionally to help me be successful in both environments.
I have also learned that I need independence and that I need to ask for help. What I have learned is that being independent does not mean never asking for help. When Mark and I started these adventures he did not pamper me or do everything for me, and still doesn’t. His reasoning has always been that I need to be independent, and take care of myself out there in case anything happens to him. I have learned that I need to take responsibility for myself in the outdoors, as well as in every other aspect of my life. This means being able to do many things by myself that I never thought I could do, such as skiing steep terrain, hiking on rock slabs covered in ice while using crampons to keep from falling, or climbing over boulders and rocks to ascend a mountain. Being independent allows us the freedom to try things we might not have tried, and to fail all on our own. In a strange sort of way, this is a gift. When we fail and it is solely our doing, there is no one person or thing to blame, and we have to take the responsibility for it. By doing so, we learn about our own skill set, our ability, and what we need and do not need for the next attempt.
And sometimes we need help. A great example of this is when Mark and I were hiking one late winter. We were summiting a mountain that was still snow and ice covered. As we approached the top we strapped our crampons to the bottoms of our boots so that we would could grip the ice, and walk without falling. We reached the summit without incident, and had a quick snack break. It was still pretty cold out, so the break was short, and we headed back down the mountain. Unfortunately one of my crampons came off. It was not safe to descend the mountain without it so it had to be put back on. However, my hands were very cold, and I was having trouble putting it back on. I needed help. Of course Mark was there and put it back on for me. What I realized was that, even though I was independent, I could not do the task alone, and asking for help was the only way I was going to reach my goal and get down the mountain. We all need to know when to ask for help. It is not a sign of weakness and often is the only way we are going to accomplish our goals.
(What I need…my best friends, two legged and four legged!)
Lesson #10: Find Beauty and Unconditional Love
For me, finding beauty and love usually comes easy. I think part of the reason why is because of the man I married. As I said in lesson #5, my husband is very quiet. He does not talk just to hear himself speak, so when he speaks he usually has something important to say. Unlike most people who roll over in the morning and say “Good morning”, he simply rolls over and says “I love you.” What person wouldn’t love waking up to that? When we are on one of our adventures, he follows up with “Thank you.” Finding beauty and love when you start your day like this is easy. However, when we are all bogged down with schedules, timelines, financial woes, and the demands of everyday life, it may not be as easy, and you have to look for it. There are so many examples of finding beauty and love in the outdoors. We have seen some amazing sights, and those sights are often unbelievable. Now of course great weather often leads to great vistas, from spectacular mountain ranges to snow covered fields. This was true on both of our trips to Denali National Park. We were fortunate to spend time there in the summer as well as the winter. Although hiking in Denali in the summer is awesome, snowshoeing in Denali in the winter is simply AMAZING! We spent a day snowshoeing there and did not run into a single person. I think we could have spent a month snowshoeing there and not run into anyone. The scenery was beautiful. The landscape changes with the seasons. We had to stop many times to simply take in the sights and fully process the beauty of this land.
However, what about when the conditions are not as nice? When things do not go your way can you still find beauty? Really, the question is, can you love unconditionally, no matter the weather, the conditions, the situation, and can you apply this to every aspect of your life? I have learned that you can. In 2008 we were very excited to reach the top of Mt. Mansfield in Vermont. The views are said to be stunning. However, it was the summer of our Long Trail thru hike, and rain was often in the forecast. We knew that we would have limited views from the summit, so we prepared for that. What we did not realize is that on the summit there would be walking through the clouds and fog. We could only see a few feet in front of us. But these conditions provided us with a new experience, a mystical, magical experience that we had not had before. There was the beauty, and the unconditional love of the land. There are many days when you may think that things are not going right and there is no way it will turn out good, but just wait. Give it time. Appreciate what you do have. You may find that the experience is not the one you were looking for, but it might be the one you never knew you wanted! Beauty can sometimes sneak up on you.
Lastly I’d like to share the experience of visiting the Alaskan Huskies (snow dogs) in Denali. We did so both times we were in Denali. During the summer months the rangers and dogs put on shows for the visitors, and you cannot get near the dogs. Because of the crowds, the dogs are sectioned off. They are beautiful animals, and although they give so much love, you cannot reach them during the summer months to return the favor. But in the winter it all changes. You can visit the dogs, and there are no gates or fences to prevent you from getting up close and personal with them. Because my dog Yukon is an Alaskan Husky I know the joy and excitement they get from receiving attention. The love they share is simply palpable. Licks, kisses, nudges, and howls are all part of the love they give you. And they give you this love unconditionally, no matter your age, profession, gender, nationality, or anything else. They are not expecting anything from you. Imagine how a stranger, a child, a person in need would feel if we loved them unconditionally. Imagine how different the world, our world, would be if everyone loved unconditionally. Giving and loving unconditionally is free. It does not cost a thing. Take the time to find beauty and give unconditional love throughout your day. You will be repaid in dividends.
(He gives unconditional love 24/7…our favorite companion, YUKON!!)
Lesson #11: Perseverance
I am sure you have heard the saying “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” Perseverance can be difficult at times, as there is a balance between Knowing When to Say When (Lesson #3) and going to Plan B (Lesson #4), or sticking with the plan. This is true whether you are dealing with home, work, or personal life issues. Sticking with a plan, and continuing on a path, even when there are numerous obstacles in your way is a challenge. However, overcoming those obstacles and succeeding after persevering is one of the most gratifying rewards.
One of the best examples of this is finishing our thru hike of the Long Trail. As you recall in Lesson #3, Mark and I had to leave the trail half way through. That was the summer of 2007. For the summer of 2008 we decided we were going to persevere and finish the trail. It was not going to beat us. Ironically it was another wet summer, but we had our goal and were set on finishing. We began right where we had left off, and for about two weeks backpacked through mid and northern Vermont. We had learned from our first experience, and this helped us along the way. We were not willing to alter our goal, but did have to alter the plan, by taking two summers rather than one, to complete it. But we persevered and did not fail, as I had thought the summer before. When we reached the northern terminus, the Canadian border, I was overwhelmed with emotion. The challenges and the obstacles made finishing so much more rewarding. Perseverance paid off.
Another example of persevering is our third attempt of summiting Mt. Jefferson via the Caps Ridge trail. Now you may be wondering why this summit was so important that we would continue to attempt it. Well Mt. Jefferson is one of the 48 4,000 foot mountains in New Hampshire. Our goal was to summit all 48. We had been working on this goal for approximately 13 years. Talk about perseverance! After our second attempt we decided that we would save Mt. Jefferson to the end. It would be number 48. Finally, in the summer of 2011 we picked a perfect day to make the attempt and left Yukon at home. We had a great hike up and reached the summit without any problems. Finally! We accomplished our 13 year goal. Again, the feeling was overwhelming. Once again perseverance paid off. After these experiences I firmly believe that when you try harder or have to work harder at something and are met with challenges, the reward is oh so much sweeter. It makes me appreciate failure. Perhaps failure is necessary to truly appreciate the sweet feeling of success. Let’s accept failure, and allow each other to make mistakes, for without it success is not as great.
(On top of Mt. Jefferson after our third attempt; finishing the 48 4,000 footers in NH)
Lesson #12: Determine What Matters Most
I believe that outdoor adventure helps a person determine what matters most to them in their life. All of the lessons discussed above, and the experiences that go along with them, lead a person to this determination. I am very lucky to have known for a long time what matters most, and for me that is family. Both Mark and I grew up in households that valued family first. The outdoor adventures we have experienced continue to strengthen and solidify that for me. There are two points I want to share to emphasize this lesson.
First, even though our families do not participate in any of the activities that we do, they are extremely interested and supportive. Don’t get me wrong. We often get some perplexed looks when we tell them what we are doing, or get lots of questions, such as “You’re doing what?” But they are always interested in the adventure, so sharing every aspect of it with them is important to Mark and me. I have so many examples of sharing different aspects of our adventures with family, and will start with something as simple as dehydrating food for our backpacking trips. If you have never tasted dehydrated food, prepared it yourself, or packed it in on a thru hike, you might not appreciate it the way a backpacker does. Just think about how many people you know with a dehydrator. For some of you it might not be many. When I shared with my family that I was going to buy a dehydrator and dehydrate food for our trips, they were very interested in the process, and of course interested in how the food would taste. What is important to know is that my mother is a fantastic cook, as were my grandmothers. Growing up we always had amazing meals and desserts, and being Italian, sauce and meatballs were a staple in the house. When I started looking at dehydrated meals to make for the trail, it made sense to try the pasta marinara bark. What good Italian daughter wouldn’t? Naturally my mom was curious about the recipe, and how it was made. After trying the pasta, I moved on to jerky, ground beef, and various fruits and vegetables. Most of my attempts were successful, but of course some were not (Dog food was a massive failure). Right before one of our trips I brought some of the dehydrated food to my parents’ house, and being supportive, they sampled some of the food. Although we all knew it was not as good as a home cooked Italian meal, they smiled and swallowed (and didn’t spit it out). For me, sharing this with them, particularly my mom, was important, and so much fun. She is the ultimate cook, and I wanted to share with her my experiences of dehydrating food.
Another example of sharing our experiences with our families is letting them know where we are when we are out on an adventure. Whether driving cross country, or out on a trail for multiple days, sharing our location with them is important to us. Now most would think this is for safety reasons, and of course that is one of the main reasons, but just as important for us is sharing with our families where we are and what we accomplished. When we backpacked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon we were thrilled to be there. We wanted to immediately share that with our families. At that time there was a pay phone at the bottom of the Grand Canyon, so we called our families and said “Guess where we are?” We did the same thing when we drove to Alaska from the East coast. When we crossed into the state we wanted to let them know as soon as we could….even though there was a four hour difference in the time. But for us, nothing was more important than sharing our joy with our families. They matter so much to us.
A final example of this point of sharing the experience with our families is when we have completed thru hikes. Of course any parent would want to know where their child is, and that they are safe. With the advancement of cell phones and cell service, we can often be in touch with our families every few days, and that takes care of the worry. But they are also very excited about our trip. On our first thru hike I gave my mom a map of the trail (Long Trail) and she taped it to the fridge. Every time we spoke I told here where I was on the map, and she found that location and marked it. This allowed her to see the progress we were making, the towns we were coming to, and the terrain we were traveling in. It gave me the opportunity share the experience and the journey with her.
Some may say that if family really mattered the most to us, we wouldn’t be out on these adventures, but home with them. I can understand that type of thinking, but do not agree with it. What I do believe, and this is the second point about family first, is that no matter how great the adventure, not matter how beautiful the scenery, no matter if it is a once in a lifetime experience, family always comes first. We learned this lesson on our cross country trip to Alaska. This was our once in a life time trip. How often do you get the chance to drive to Alaska and spend the summer camping, hiking, and backpacking in this great state? About half way through the trip my mother-in-law ended up in intensive care. She was on a respirator and was failing. The doctor did not think she would survive this ordeal, and recommended that the family say their goodbyes. When we received this news we were about an hour south of Anchorage. We drove straight to the airport, parked the car, and filled a daypack with a few items. We went to the first airline counter we could find, bought a one way ticket, and were on a plane within the hour. We flew from Anchorage to San Francisco to Boston. It took about 20 hours from the time we received the news to the time we made it to the hospital. In those twenty hours my mother-in-law started to make minor progress, and within a week was out of intensive care. After that I often joked with her that if we were not on an adventure she might not have held on as long to see her son, and thus the adventure saved her life. We stayed at home for the week, and when she was released from the hospital we headed back to Alaska. We had our car and six weeks of gear still there! However, we would have never left if we felt that she was not stable, because, although the adventure was our goal, what matters most to us is family.
Although my mother-in-law lived for five more years, we had two unexpected tragedies during those years. Both my sister’s husband and Mark’s sister’s husband were diagnosed with cancer. They were both young, and had young children. Of course their lives were turned upside down. There was no place on this earth Mark and I would have chosen to be then right by their sides. No mountain, no trail, no ski resort, nowhere was more important than being with them. Unfortunately both men passed away within months of their diagnosis. Of all of the lessons learned by our outdoor adventures, determining what mattered the most was the easiest to learn, and the most important. To us, there is no greater adventure, and love, than that of our family.
(My amazing family!)
Conclusion
At the start of this book I stated that the life lessons I learned from outdoor adventure can be applied to all aspects of life. I truly believe this. Whether you are struggling in a relationship, considering changing jobs, thinking about moving cross country, or deciding to have a baby, these life lessons apply. One does not have to be an outdoor adventurer to use these lessons. In fact, I bet I use these lessons more in my day to day life then when I am in the outdoors, simply because they are so applicable. It took me adventuring into the outdoors to learn these lessons and get clarity on what is needed to live a healthy (mentally and physically), happy life. If you are looking to make a change, to maybe better your life experience, I challenge you to review your life from each of these lessons. Ask yourself:
· Do you set goals and make plans?
· Do you know the lay of the land?
· Do you know when to say when?
· Are you flexible (or can you be more flexible)?
· Do you appreciate and practice silence?
· How do your fears impact your behavior?
· Do you laugh….especially at yourself?
· How do you treat strangers or help others?
· Do you know what you need and what you don’t?
· Can you find beauty and practice unconditional love?
· Do you persevere or give up?
· Do you know what matters most to you?
Maybe you are not looking for a change, but perhaps a change in others. I believe that you can only change your behavior, but if you practice these lessons you will see a change in others, particularly if you love unconditionally.
Venture into the outdoors. Find your adventure. Maybe it is a walk in the woods, a ride through a canyon, or a canoe trip. The degree of difficulty does not matter, as it is about the adventure, your adventure! Make the time to experience the outdoors, and find the beauty of this great land. It may just change your life forever!
(Hiking in Oregon…view of Mt. Hood)
